Hello World

I have sat here trying to figure out how to start my first post on my blog for a minute. That doesn't sound like a long time, but it sure felt like it. I should probably start with some sort of introduction to myself. The only problem there is that I need some anonymity for my blog. There are a few things I can say, like the fact that I am trans and bisexual. Those are two things that would be very hard to hide in any of my future posts. 

My aim here is to make people like me feel like they aren't alone, but I am not in a position to publicly say so. I made the mistake of telling some people at my school, which I regret because of the effect it had on how people acted around me. I wish people would act like I am human. For some people, their view is so closed that they can't even fathom the thought that I am not trans or bi because of a fad.

Now, no one should go into my blog and read with the impression that what I say are facts for people like me or facts at all. I can be wrong, I know that. To be a teenager in high school and think I am always right would be exactly what would bring my downfall. A lot of the people at my high school are like that. Which is exactly what taught me to realize that I can be wrong and the things I think are true, are not.

One thing I won't talk a lot about in this, though I may try sometimes, is politics. Politics make me feel so awful inside. I hate that the world seems to be on fire and all anyone is ever doing is using the fire to fight everybody. That's why whenever there are debates at my school or at home even, I just can't take it. I get all shaky and fidget with whatever is near my hands.

I will do my best to talk about stuff that will help others, but I will probably need suggestions from my friends for topics. As for my situation, which is weird and I haven't noticed others in this kind of situation, I am not in the closet because I am scared. Yes, of course, I am scared. Being out in this kind of world with the environment that we have is awful and terrifying. I was brought up to never let my fear control my decisions, so that is why I am not closeted out of fear.

I am in the closet still because if I came out, my parents would lose their jobs. Where they work, they teach little kids and somehow teach them to use more of their brain and it is honestly incredible. The only problem is that where they teach, is a place where people have been executed for being gay or trans. If two of the most important people that worked there had a bisexual and trans son? The place would be shut down. Not only my parents would lose their jobs.

I want to be able to help people like me feel less alone. Not wake up at 3 in the morning, crying because they feel that they are some strange thing that never should have been born. I want people to feel like they are human. To feel like what they are going through isn't something that Satan is controlling or that is because of the latest fads (unless it is, and please don't do that).

I am not famous, well known, popular, or even well-liked in my own school. I am just some 16-year-old kid that like so many others, hardly leaves my own room. I always have my headphones on with some sort of music playing. Can you imagine a world without music? That's a thing that led me to the decision that if I could choose between being blind or being deaf, I would rather be blind. Sure there would be a lot that I would lose, but I depend on my hearing so much more than my sight. I am already going blind in an eye, so I guess that decision was already made.

Anyway, here is my first, and very lengthy, post in my blog. I hope that my future posts will be a lot more helpful than this one. If this one was any help at all, that is great.